gestational hypertension

that's what i'm rolling with.

it all started a week ago when i started feeling really nauseous and morning sickness-y. i had the school nurse take my blood pressure and it was around 155/90. so i called the doctor and they told me to come in immediately. i got there and my bp was still high, so they had me go to the hospital to be monitored. after a few hours of doing the stress test, they determined max is fine and my blood tests and urine came back normal, so they let me go home even though my bp wasn't going down. i was ordered to do a 24-hour urine collection (which is EXACTLY as much fun as it sounds) over the weekend and come in monday morning to drop it off and see the doctor. she told me to stay home and relax. so i did. then, they called the next day to say everything came back perfect; liver functions good, no protein traces, great! so i went back to work today.

bad idea.

i FELT fine, but had the nurse check my bp anyway only to find it was 174/100. stroke-time, people!!! so i called and they had me come in immediately again; i did the non-stress test again; and that's when they told me max is FINE, but i have developed gestational hypertension. high blood pressure while pregnant. and i'm too far along to go on any medication for it because it may mask any symptoms of preeclampsia if i start to get that!

so the prognosis is bedrest. when i asked, "defiiiiiiiine bedrest..." she said, "bed, couch, bathroom, food. that's it." craaaaaaaaaaap. i mean, obviously, i'm going to do whatever it takes to have a healthy baby, but this puts quite a wrinkle in my life! there's 8 days of school left, piles of laundry to fold, and i'm not even gonna mention what my floors look like right now.

ok. i know that sounded selfish. *slaps hand*

actually, since i'm being selfish anyway - i'm bummed about one more thing: i'm probably not going to go into labor the "old-fashioned" way. no "it's tiiIIIiiime!!!" yell to my husband. my doctor said they're more than likely going to induce me around 37-38 weeks. which really doesn't matter in the big picture kind of way, but i just really wanted the whole "experience". i never thought i'd get to do any of this and i MAY never get to do any of this again, so i just wanted it all to go as naturally as possible.

but really, as long as he's happy and healthy - i'll take him no matter how he gets here.


whew. that was a long one. i'm craving ice cold milk my the gallon. who knows.

dear max,

now that this feels real, i have some things i'd like to say to you.

your daddy and i wanted you for a very long time. you can't imagine how happy we were when we found out you were finally coming. your nickname will probably be 'pancakes' and you probably won't get it.

i feel you move all the time and i watch you do the worm in my tummy and while it's weird, and while you really make me have to pee, it is the awesomest feeling i've ever had. knowing you're growing and healthy all snuggled up in your little apartment makes me feel a joy i've never known.

i can't wait to see your little face. i have a feeling you're going to look like your daddy; cute little scrunchy cheeks, rosy lips... you are surely going to be the cutest baby on the planet.

i love you more everyday and i can't imagine what it's going to feel like to be your mommy. i'm nervous and scared and excited all in one. will i be what you need? will i know what to do? sometimes i feel super-prepared, sometimes i feel like i hae no idea what we got ourselves into. but no matter what, i'll make sure you know everyday how much i love you.

i love you more than you'll ever know, max. you're my everything and i feel beyond blessed that god chose me to be your mom.

love, mommy

shower time!

my baby shower is tomorrow!!! i'm so excited!!! one of my best friends is catering and i've been told she's made all my favorites; mini crab cakes, mac-n-chz balls, artichoke hummus, and CUPCAKES! i'm more excited about the food than the presents, i think. :)

the only part that sucks is that it was supposed to be outside at my parents' house. they have THE party house. lots of trees, a gazebo, pool, the whole nine. except tomorrow is the first day of the year the weather is going to be up in the 90's. soooooo, yeah. no outside. although, my mother - ever the optimist - insists as long as it's "not humid", we should still be able to sit outside. to which i replied, "ummmm, when was the last time 90+ degrees in florida felt ok?!?!?" my worst nightmare is to be the pregnant sweaty lady in all those pictures. my friends will post pics the MINUTE they get home and i'd rather not be dripping balls.

i thought they were exaggerating...

...but my stomach really DOES feel like it's about 5 inches down from my throat. which feels just *sooooo* good when i'm trying to eat. or when i have heartburn - which is ALWAYS!!!

...but i DO feel like i have to pee all. the. time. even right AFTER i pee!!! and then when i go and look forward to the "great release", it's just a few sprinkles. no satisfaction, i tell you.

...but i AM tired pretty much always now. walking upstairs in exhausting. breathing in deeply is almost uncomfortable. getting in and out of my husband's regular-sized suv hurts. like, "down there".

...but my hips are SURELY breaking in half like a wishbone. i KNOW it's not just stretching and moving and whatnot. SURELY my bones are slowly cracking into millions of tiny fractures. that's the ONLY explanation for this kind of pain.

but i'm 30 weeks today. THIRTY WEEKS, people. THIRTY WEEKS PREGNANT! probably about FORTY WEEKS ago, i thought i'd never get to be pregnant, maybe, ever. and here i am. in the home stretch. amazed; excited; in disbelief. cuh-razy.

i can't wait to meet mr. max. i do believe he's going to be the next love of my life.

:)

getting my ass kicked.

swollen feet.
vagina bone feels like it's breaking.
hip joints hurt like i've been laying on my side on hardwood floors for hours.
officially had to take two of my rings off.
irritable.
irrational.
crying for no apparent reason. (repeat of week 11/12 on that one)
waking up every hour and a half to pee like clockwork.

BUT...
max moves all the time now.
he has "disco parties" as i say because he'll be all quiet, then go apeshit crazy.
my last appointment went perfectly. glucose test was fine; my weight isn't so bad; i'm measuring great; and i get another ultrasound in two weeks!
i'm a two-weeker now!

so all in all, i guess getting my ass kicked is the best feeling in the world.

:)

and i was feeling so good...

i need some new dresses for a couple showers and weddings in the next couple months. i had been looking online and it just seems like all the maternity dresses out there aren't very "dressy". so i went to a department store and was trying on some super cute sheath dresses in that stretchy material. i found two i love! so i go to pay for them and i asked about the return policy just in case i needed a different size - i mean, one's for april and one's for may; i'll be almost 9 months by then! - so anyway... instead of just telling me to leave the tags on or whatnot, she says, "oh, are you trying to lose weight?"

ummm, wtf?!? i had on my most "i look pregnant" shirt and everything! so i politely say, "well, i'm PREGNANT, so i just want to know i can exchange it in case it gets too tight by the time i need it." THEN, she says, "OH! i couldn't even tell!" and the girl next to her says the SAME THING!!!! yeah, um. i'm almost seven months, man. i thought i was rocking this! now i have a giant complex that i just look really fat. awesome.

bits...

my feet have officially swollen. one week before my third trimester! oh well.

had my glucose screen this morning; i was so worried about that drink. it wasn't bad - just a really sugary coke!

and now i can't remember anything else i was going to write. :) i'll get back to you.