Tuesday, August 19, 2008

we're good.

chris' spunk is fine. (haha) "excellent" in fact. so it turns out we really are just unlucky. i have a consultation on friday to see where we should go from here.

on a side note, my ass is getting back on the hotness train. i gained about 12 pounds while taking all those ivf drugs and have not been able - ok, ok, or realllly trying - to shake them. i've been walking as usual, but my diet has kind of gone away. i've been comfort-eating big time. well, no more! i will be thin-ish by the end of the year. i swear. ;)

Friday, August 8, 2008

do you...

ever wonder what the lives of others are really like?

like, i look at some of my friends' lives and think to myself that they have it so easy. no problems, smiley-happy faces. but then, as a verrrry good friend pointed out to me the other day, they might be looking at me the same way. i have a wonderful husband who i am completely in love with, we have a new, beautiful house, our dog is super-cute, our families are relatively normal and love us, and we're both gainfully employed. none of them know the extent of our fertility issues; they know we're 'trying' and that's that. so i thought about what this friend of mine said and i think she may be right. she, herself, has a wonderful marriage, one kid and one on the way, but her parents are crack addicts (literally) whom she has to take care of both financially and emotionally. i can't imagine. then i think of some other friends and i realize, maybe they feel the same way as me from time to time. problems are relative and mine might be a laugh for one of them. one who is stuck in a relationship she doesn't want to be in; one who is secretly embarrassed of her husband's lack of ambition; one who lies to us about how rich she is, when she's barely making ends meet; one who is so judgemental, she's constantly trying to one-up everyone so we think she's fabulous, when actually, she's accomplishing the opposite. we all have problems. mine just seems bigger because it's mine, i guess.

after reading all this, it sounds like i'm trying to make myself better by pointing out things about others; not true. i just never thought about my life from the outside-in and vice-versa.

i'm counting my blessings and hoping for my dreams to come true.