i was called by my re's office today. they are recruiting for the ivf/pcos study in the fall and i was numero uno on the list. she asked some questions, 'have you been diagnosed with pcos?', 'do you have male factor infertility?', 'blah blah blah...'.
so i'm in.
the catch? this study is double the price; $6,000. to which i replied, "huh. well, ok." did i consult the hubs? nope. if my only hope is ivf, isn't half-price better than nothing??? yes. yes, it is.
he's fine about it. i did tell him i felt bad for not consulting him and just saying 'yes', but he gets it. i'm excited about having a plan and he is too.
so now, we wait. we get skinny, but we wait. i'm going to try to give myself all possible advantages i can. so, skinny, skinny, skinny!
Friday, July 17, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
time bomb.
my last friend to have a baby will be celebrating said baby's first birthday next month. i was invited to the party, to make her tutu, and to make a giant cupcake for the birthday girl. this can only mean one thing.
someone's next.
we went through quite a baby storm for a couple years there. some planned, some not-so-planned, some straight-up tear-inducing where i was put in the position to comfort a friend who thought her life was over and how could this happen to me what am i going to do?!? (---yeah. i earned my wings in heaven on that one. no blood was shed or anything.)
so who will it be??? one is openly "trying", but not really doing much about the technicalities. one swears she's not, but is most definitely. maybe even #2 for a couple of them. then there's me. most of them have stopped asking when we're having babies at this point.
and when the lucky lady makes the big announcement, i'm not sure how i'm going to feel. that is so horrible! of course, i'll be happy that they are so happy and they're dreams came true, but i have a feeling i'm going to want to go home and have myself an ice cream party and tear session. actually, thinking about this scenario is making me want to start the shame-spiral portion of this program early.
*must start thinking happy thoughts must start thinking happy thoughts*
happy thought #1: i've decided that before i die, i am going to own a pair of sickeningly expensive heels. like, mortgage payment expensive. just to say i do. i might even throw in a pair of pricey jeans when my ass is all soap-opera-hot.
someone's next.
we went through quite a baby storm for a couple years there. some planned, some not-so-planned, some straight-up tear-inducing where i was put in the position to comfort a friend who thought her life was over and how could this happen to me what am i going to do?!? (---yeah. i earned my wings in heaven on that one. no blood was shed or anything.)
so who will it be??? one is openly "trying", but not really doing much about the technicalities. one swears she's not, but is most definitely. maybe even #2 for a couple of them. then there's me. most of them have stopped asking when we're having babies at this point.
and when the lucky lady makes the big announcement, i'm not sure how i'm going to feel. that is so horrible! of course, i'll be happy that they are so happy and they're dreams came true, but i have a feeling i'm going to want to go home and have myself an ice cream party and tear session. actually, thinking about this scenario is making me want to start the shame-spiral portion of this program early.
*must start thinking happy thoughts must start thinking happy thoughts*
happy thought #1: i've decided that before i die, i am going to own a pair of sickeningly expensive heels. like, mortgage payment expensive. just to say i do. i might even throw in a pair of pricey jeans when my ass is all soap-opera-hot.
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