gestational hypertension

that's what i'm rolling with.

it all started a week ago when i started feeling really nauseous and morning sickness-y. i had the school nurse take my blood pressure and it was around 155/90. so i called the doctor and they told me to come in immediately. i got there and my bp was still high, so they had me go to the hospital to be monitored. after a few hours of doing the stress test, they determined max is fine and my blood tests and urine came back normal, so they let me go home even though my bp wasn't going down. i was ordered to do a 24-hour urine collection (which is EXACTLY as much fun as it sounds) over the weekend and come in monday morning to drop it off and see the doctor. she told me to stay home and relax. so i did. then, they called the next day to say everything came back perfect; liver functions good, no protein traces, great! so i went back to work today.

bad idea.

i FELT fine, but had the nurse check my bp anyway only to find it was 174/100. stroke-time, people!!! so i called and they had me come in immediately again; i did the non-stress test again; and that's when they told me max is FINE, but i have developed gestational hypertension. high blood pressure while pregnant. and i'm too far along to go on any medication for it because it may mask any symptoms of preeclampsia if i start to get that!

so the prognosis is bedrest. when i asked, "defiiiiiiiine bedrest..." she said, "bed, couch, bathroom, food. that's it." craaaaaaaaaaap. i mean, obviously, i'm going to do whatever it takes to have a healthy baby, but this puts quite a wrinkle in my life! there's 8 days of school left, piles of laundry to fold, and i'm not even gonna mention what my floors look like right now.

ok. i know that sounded selfish. *slaps hand*

actually, since i'm being selfish anyway - i'm bummed about one more thing: i'm probably not going to go into labor the "old-fashioned" way. no "it's tiiIIIiiime!!!" yell to my husband. my doctor said they're more than likely going to induce me around 37-38 weeks. which really doesn't matter in the big picture kind of way, but i just really wanted the whole "experience". i never thought i'd get to do any of this and i MAY never get to do any of this again, so i just wanted it all to go as naturally as possible.

but really, as long as he's happy and healthy - i'll take him no matter how he gets here.


whew. that was a long one. i'm craving ice cold milk my the gallon. who knows.

dear max,

now that this feels real, i have some things i'd like to say to you.

your daddy and i wanted you for a very long time. you can't imagine how happy we were when we found out you were finally coming. your nickname will probably be 'pancakes' and you probably won't get it.

i feel you move all the time and i watch you do the worm in my tummy and while it's weird, and while you really make me have to pee, it is the awesomest feeling i've ever had. knowing you're growing and healthy all snuggled up in your little apartment makes me feel a joy i've never known.

i can't wait to see your little face. i have a feeling you're going to look like your daddy; cute little scrunchy cheeks, rosy lips... you are surely going to be the cutest baby on the planet.

i love you more everyday and i can't imagine what it's going to feel like to be your mommy. i'm nervous and scared and excited all in one. will i be what you need? will i know what to do? sometimes i feel super-prepared, sometimes i feel like i hae no idea what we got ourselves into. but no matter what, i'll make sure you know everyday how much i love you.

i love you more than you'll ever know, max. you're my everything and i feel beyond blessed that god chose me to be your mom.

love, mommy

shower time!

my baby shower is tomorrow!!! i'm so excited!!! one of my best friends is catering and i've been told she's made all my favorites; mini crab cakes, mac-n-chz balls, artichoke hummus, and CUPCAKES! i'm more excited about the food than the presents, i think. :)

the only part that sucks is that it was supposed to be outside at my parents' house. they have THE party house. lots of trees, a gazebo, pool, the whole nine. except tomorrow is the first day of the year the weather is going to be up in the 90's. soooooo, yeah. no outside. although, my mother - ever the optimist - insists as long as it's "not humid", we should still be able to sit outside. to which i replied, "ummmm, when was the last time 90+ degrees in florida felt ok?!?!?" my worst nightmare is to be the pregnant sweaty lady in all those pictures. my friends will post pics the MINUTE they get home and i'd rather not be dripping balls.