sheesh!

i had my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork done today; alls good in the uterus! good news. but now, i have to start the big guns tomorrow. injections in the am still, but now i'm adding an anitbiotic twice a day and serious drugs (with a HUGE needle!) at night.

i'm going to be one, big, walking hormone. like the kool-aid man, only mean. like the hulk i guess. :)

poor chris.

please, please, please for the love of all that's holy, let this work!!!

ivf update:

i talked to my doctor yesterday, and she said that my retrieval/transfer is scheduled for the week of july 7th. less than 3 weeks away!!!!! holy crap.

i had a dream last night that i was pregnant with triplets. and i was happy about it. i guess after all this, triplets might not be so bad! but the idea of being on bedrest really scares me.

so now, i will just put it out here in cyberspace that i have never wanted anything so bad in my entire life. ever since i was a kid, i always knew i was supposed to be a mom. i had absolutely no idea that it would ever be so difficult to get there. but, hopefully, this is it. i have a good feeling about it, so i'm praying my instincts are right.

keep those fingers crossed!!!

tidbits...

i mowed the lawn today. a fairly large feat for this lady. it took me a full half hour to get that stupid thing going. then i got a farmer tan. like, my arms are realllllllly burnt. silver lining? - i sweat so much i felt justified not going for a 4 mile walk. :)

i've been taking the injections for 5 days now. they turn me into a firemonster. i go in for an appointment tuesday or wednesday for an ultrasound and the cocktail injections i think. more firemonsterness.

monkey has been driving me up an effing wall today. peeing, barking, chasing, more peeing. daaaaaaaaaaamn this dog is working my last nerve. (firemonster, again.)

pass the calories, please.

these drugs are making me a crazy person. hot flashes? check. irrational snapping at any and everyone? checkity check. insane cravings for cake, ice cream, and nachos? oh yeah.

this is not ok. i keep telling myself i'm taking one for the team, the ends justify the means, and there's no 'i' in team. well, that last one doesn't really apply here, but you get the idea.

i don't think anyone actually reads this, but if you happen to come across it, pray for me that i get a positive test later this month. and then all those side effects will be totally welcome.

mmmmmmmm, nachos.

you're onlyyyyyy a dayyyy aaaaawayyyyy!

tomorrow is FINALLY the last day of school. i have never met people i dislike so much as the children i've taught this year. now, all 13-yr-olds are given a certain amount of 'slack'. they're 13. i get it. but this year, not only were they just downright not smart, they were arrogant about being not smart. and they were mean. and not like teenage kid mean. like, downright evil. i wouldn't be surprised if several of them wound up in jail for armed robberies and murder. seriously.

i love my job. i don't mean to sound like that bitter old teacher, but i'm really patting myself on the back for a)making the whole year and b) doing so without winding up on the news for hitting a kid. i plan on fully forgetting this whole 07-08 school eyar never happened as of 4 o'clock tomorrow.

we'll see...

what a difference a month can make.

i started the study officially. today is day numero uno of 'the pill' *dun, Dun, DUUUUN*. on june 10th, i start the needles and we go from there. by the end of june, i take THE TEST and hopefully, all these dr. visits, pills, needles, and nightly emotional meltdowns will be worth it.

one month from now. dude. that's heavy.

keep your fingers crossed; i need all the luck i can get. :)

dragging

back from vegas. awesome awesomeness. but chris went to get monkey from his parent's house today and she smells like old, dried dog pee. now, i have no doubt in my head that the dog peed either inside the house or crate. but seriously?! you don't smell it and WASH THE FREAKING DOG?!?!?! ugh. and now it's too late to give her a bath because she gets all wonky and she'll be up all night.

grrrrrrrrrrreat.